The Chance to Love and Be Loved Exists No Matter Where You Are

Posts tagged ‘daughter’

I Believe…

I know that I am still working on part 2 of day 2 of my mission, but something happened to me last week that I feel begs to be told.

I was cleaning out some old junk from my mother’s basement and somewhere along the line, I sprained my ankle. It wasn’t one of those sprains where you KNOW when you did it. It was more like I must have twisted my ankle the wrong way at some point and didn’t feel it until I had slowed down after I was close to finishing. I was taking some things out to the trash can when it suddenly started to throb to the point that I couldn’t even put weight on it. I hobbled back inside and told my mom I was finished for the night. I prayed over it and asked God to please, PLEASE heal my ankle! I had a long walk from the parking garage to the chair in my office every morning. I couldn’t imagine that walk while having to limp like this.

When I woke in the morning, the pain was still there. I hobbled around the house getting my daughter and myself ready and out the door, praying again for healing for my ankle. I dropped her off at school, then drove the 5 minutes to my work, parked, and made the long trek (which isn’t really that long on a healthy ankle) into my office. It did take me longer, and it really sucked.

As I sat down at my desk, I felt defeated. My ankle was really hurting by that time and I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t healing it. I’d seen videos and heard about friends who had been healed. I had gone to a prayer night at a local church and even had someone pray over my knees, which had been hurting, and they were healed then. That same night, I had been told that I was destined to be a healer one day. I had felt unworthy, but was willing. But as I sat there, I wondered if that really was something I’d ever be able to do, especially if I couldn’t even heal myself! I was doubting not only myself, but the message I had been given. I asked God, “What am I doing wrong? Why aren’t you healing me!”

Then, I heard him. “Walk expectantly.”

What? So, that was what I was missing?

Just then, my boss asked me if I would create a list of our items in stock in another room. It would take me a bit of time and I would need to be on my feet the whole time, walking around the whole while.

So, here goes, I thought. I gave myself a pep talk. I know for a fact that God loves me, and I know that He wants to heal me. I just had to believe it. Then, the story of the woman who was sick and simply touched Jesus’ cloak flashed across my mind.

43 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. 44 She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.

45 “Who touched me?” Jesus asked.

When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you.”

46 But Jesus said, “Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.”

47 Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed.48 Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”  

Luke 8:43-48

And I heard the verse:

29 ….“According to your faith be it done to you.” 

Matthew 9:29

Oh, so, I now I understood! Jesus wanted to heal me, and was probably trying to, but I needed to believe He would and that He was able to. This wasn’t just a “maybe He will, maybe He won’t” kind of thing. After all, the Bible says that if we ask for things, God will give them to us.

“WALK EXPECTANTLY!”

I heard again. So, I got up, and walked into the storage room. NO PAIN! It was absolutely pain free! I’m not making this up! It really happened! Not only did I walk into the stock room, but I put on my earbuds and I danced around as I scanned all of our items!

Later that night, as I relaxed at home, the pain returned just a bit. I thought, Now, why is it returning? Was it only temporary or do I have to do this whole thing over again?

“WALK EXPECTANTLY,” I heard again. What I realized was that I had been sitting there, thinking about how much it had hurt that morning, and how it felt so much better now. Was it real? Had that really happened, or was it just one of those weird pains that is there and then somehow just goes away. and had coincidentally gone as I had prayed. Was I making this all up in my head?

Then, God reminded me of the story of Peter, as he walked on the water towards Jesus. He had no problems until he looked away. The moment he stopped focusing on Jesus and started to worry that he would sink into the water, he did just that! He started to sink! So, what God was trying to tell me was that I needed to remember to focus on Him! To remember that He had healed me. And every time that pain or any other issue would rise up, I simply needed to focus on Jesus and I would make it through and everything would turn out fine! It was an amazing awakening. Since then, my ankle has not hurt again. I began praying and believing in healing for my knees and my feet and everything has been fine! I feel so much better!

To be clear, I no longer believe in coincidence. I don’t believe things “just happen at the exact right time.” I believe those are God moments. But every once in a while, I have a moment where the thought “what if” creeps into my mind. I just have to remember to squash that thought! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS COINCIDENCE! I have no doubt that Jesus healed my ankle that day, and I have no doubt that He is preparing me for something more, something bigger! When I step up and make the full commitment, that’s when He will start setting things into motion. One day, I WILL be a healer! One day, I WILL be out on the streets healing God’ children! Just like Jesus did. Just like Todd White does now, and many others as well.

Princesses are not fragile, they’re WARRIORS!

K. L.  https://klregister.wordpress.com/ I found this in a post on Facebook, and it made me think of you. I could see you writing something like this. You seem like a strong, level headed warrior princess to me! I hope you enjoy this, as well as anyone else who might read it!

P.S. I didn’t change the grammatical errors, since it wasn’t my work, but the Grammar Nazi inside me REALLY wanted to! 😉

bedtime story:

“i don’t imagine my princesses in the same way
others do, either kissing their husband and in
marital perfection or the cynical version where they are drunk
in the kitchen, living out their happily ever afters in
a haze of poor decisions, no,

i think cinderella becomes a fashion designer, i think
she stops smoking and takes back her name and
ends up making money and being a spokesperson
for abuse victims, i think right now if ella was alive
she’d be laughing over a pumpkin-spice latte and
her empire is the most body-inclusive in fashion

i think snow-white becomes an activist, i think she
studies genetics and i think she will allow
no person with a disability to go homeless, i think
whenever someone makes a joke about seven small men,
she whips around and asks them what exactly their problem is
because there is nothing wrong with
any of her friends

i think aurora is a sleep disorder doctor
and a psychologist, she uses hypnosis to help people
who can’t quite escape the thicket inside of their brains and
i think she’s working on developing a pill for people
with chronic insomnia even though everyone still teases her
about that one bout of narcolepsy and one day she admits
she actually was awake for most of it and just studying

i think ariel has shut down marine life poaching in
as many parts of her country as she can, i think that
she’s got teams working to clean up oil spills
and she’s building windmills in her backyard because
she’d rather have the “eyesore” than know someone is
drilling in her home, i think she has degrees in environmental
science and marine biology, i think she’s got a side project for scuba divers and oceanography and is devising a way for
mermaids to visit her land without giving up their tails

i think belle is a veterinarian and runs her practice
out of her father’s house
where his inventions have saved the lives of at least
ninety dogs and i think that she is a teacher in her free time
and since she can’t change the actions of their parents, in her classroom she has taught gaston’s eight kids to be nothing short
of polite and well-mannered and i think that she takes
frequent trips outside of her little quiet town but
always comes home again

i think jasmine is a feminist in every aspect, i believe
she works with shelters and soup kitchens and makes sure
nobody starves in her city ever again, i think she sets up
homes for homeless women, i think she marches in rallies
and has a school specifically for gifted girls that
were almost married off to strange men

i think she becomes outspoken about being bisexual and uses her position of power to lobby for more than just equal marriage laws because she knows better than most what it’s like to have your desire for love ignored
see, i think when we cast these women as only a prize to be won
and that their life stops as soon as the credits roll, i think
when we joke about how everything went south
right after it all,
we’re telling girls, “you will regret that you ever fell in love
or believed in magic when you were small,” see
you can believe in happy endings, but believe too
in the princesses themselves,
believe that marriage isn’t the only goal
a girl can set for herself,

believe that if these girls fought to stay alive
when an evil queen was chasing them,
if they fought to give up their nature
for the chance of more adventure, if they fought
the sultan himself and society’s expectations:
something tells me that their happily ever after
isn’t resting on their laurels, something tells me
they’d seek just a little more,
something tells me that they’d keep fighting until
there is a happy ending for every single
little girl

believe in yourself, princess, and know that
even if you want a career and husband
and twelve happy children,
you are not deluding yourself of anything. it is
completely possible to actually have
everything

it is okay for you to want a job and a home
and a family and a kingdom. you are strong enough.
you would handle it.

please don’t let anyone
tell you
different.”

—sit tall today, my love. your dreams are valid and you are always good enough / r.i.d.

Credit: https://www.facebook.com/berlinartparasites

I Think I Swallowed My Mother!!!

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When I was younger, my mother would dole out advice as easily as the wind blows through an open window. And, of course, like any other good daughter, I’d roll my eyes, and say, “Sure, whatever, Mom.” And then absolutely ignore her! I didn’t want to hear it, because she didn’t know what she was talking about! In one ear and out the other. It didn’t even have time to make a mark on my brain. Didn’t even register… Or so I thought!

I sometimes think that we all have an old Bata computer locked away somewhere in the back of our brains. It picks up all that useless advice and information that we think we leave behind and forget about. Then, it spits it out just when we need it. I know, because this happens to me all the time! Sometimes without me even realizing it until much later.

My mother’s words fly out of my mouth so fast, sometimes I wonder if I could have possibly swallowed her and now she is yelling to people for help from the pit of my stomach, all the while giving out much needed advice to help better everyone’s life! Now, this may sound like I am complaining. Let me assure you that I am not! My mother is and always has been an amazingly intelligent woman! She knows things that you can only find on Google! She’s like my own personal Google, MapQuest, and Nature Guide all rolled into one. So, if anyone is more intelligent, it’s her, not me! I try to be just like her, all the while hating myself for turning into my mother… Believe me, it’s a very strange place to be in! But this amazing woman is one of my very best and closest friends. So, having her words fly out of my mouth is an honor. But, it’s funny how many times we, as teenagers, and maybe even still today, think that we know better than our mothers and then get upset when our children threat us the same way. I try to remind myself every now and then how intelligent my mother is, and I try, when I feel like I am not listening again and maybe thinking that I am smarter or that I know better, to take a deep breath and listen, just listen. I try to remember that no matter who is right, she or I, that she gives me the advice with love and for the purpose of helping me out, and that she usually knows something that I don’t… well, Google almost ALWAYS knows something we don’t, right?!

I look at my daughter and wonder if she will ever feel the same about me. I hope that she does. I realize that some day, all too soon, she will be a teenager and she will be the one thinking that I know nothing. That I am the one who is clueless. I relish the fact that right now, I am the smartest woman she knows (her words, not mine). I wish that she would feel that way forever, but we all know that nothing stays the same, especially when hormones get involved! But I know that we will make it through, just as my mother and I did.

When I was a teenager, we rarely got into fights. She would usually step back and let me have my fit. Then, once I saw how silly I was being, she would help me to see the truth, to see where I was wrong… And then, she would tell me my punishment for misbehaving! lol Her favorite story to tell all my friends is of the day that we (mostly me) got into a screaming match and she asked me to go to my room to cool off. I did, but slammed my bedroom door as hard as I could! My punishment for that? She confiscated my door until I could learn how to shut it properly! That made changing my clothes hard! 😉 But once I earned it back, I didn’t slam it again. Well, once, but I promptly opened it again and apologized. Lesson learned!

While in basic training for the Army, many of the girls were having a hard time. Their parents or boyfriends weren’t writing to them or weren’t writing often enough. They were struggling with the Army’s difficult routines and lifestyle. Somewhere from my Bata computer came the words they needed to comfort them. They were amazed  and impressed. They said I was so smart, and asked how I knew just what to say. I told them it just came naturally, but really, it was my mother speaking from the pit of my stomach. It was all those years of her repeated advice, the words I thought that I had ignored. During one of our very rare phone calls from basic, I told her how amazed I was. That I thought that I had been ignoring her, but somehow had captured all those invaluable words she had so easily doled out on my brother and me. I had brought her with me to basic, one of the most difficult times of my life, when I had needed my mother so much. I also told her about the struggles my friends were going through. And do you know what my amazing mother did?! She sent THEM letters and notes and mail, but most importantly, she sent them a mother’s love. And they felt it. They told me what I already knew, that I was one of the luckiest daughters in the world. I had a mother whose love was so big, she shared it even with complete strangers that she had never met. She made a rough time in our lives a little more bearable. I will never forget that.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is, if I do turn out like my mother, I couldn’t imagine a better person to be. If I did swallow her words, her advice, I couldn’t imagine a sweeter flavor to consume. My mother truly is a one of a kind person, and I should be so lucky to turn out just like her… even if I do fight it sometimes. 😉

Oh, and Mom, I forbid you to use this knowledge against me in any future disagreements! Ha! Love you, Mom! You’re the best!!!!